"How did you know?" It's a question I've heard countless times from family and friends, other parents in the school pick-up line, and across social media circles. I’m always ready to share and listen to stories, dissecting milestones and quirks. Every child is different and so is every family’s journey to a diagnosis. My daughter JJ was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at the age of two. Her journey started subtly, with signs that were both familiar and uniquely her own.
JJ is 5 now, and a beautiful, bright light in my life... Albeit, sometimes she can be like a flickering, frustrating fluorescent light that induces a small headache... but most of the time she's our sunshine.
From infancy, I did feel JJ was a unique baby, but I wrote off most of my concerns as a first-time mom. While the path to our diagnosis was not easy (more on that), looking back, I recognize the easy-to-miss signs intertwined with her unique personality from infancy.
Here are some of the early signs of autism that we noticed:
Newborn: JJ was a full-term baby and the moment she popped out, she stared at the doctor and gave her an up-and-down look so intense that the doctor actually said "Woah, hello there." She then looked at me and smacked her lips - LOL - then immediately latched! When we brought her home, she was also a very colicky baby, often crying for long periods no matter what we tried. We know now part of this was GERD symptoms induced by allergies. We also know our sensory-seeker was likely having a tough time adjusting for a myriad of other reasons.
IF YOU'RE AT THIS POINT: JJ found so much comfort and peace while being "worn" in a baby wrap. The wrap was EVERYTHING. I wish we had tried it sooner. Also, trust your instincts on food allergies.
Baby: After the newborn phase, I did notice JJ's eye contact was not as frequent or sustained as other babies her age, but it wasn't entirely absent. She was a busy baby who loved to crawl into little spaces and line her toys up. JJ was, and still is, incredibly gifted physically. She pulled herself to standing at a staggering 4 months old! She laughed and smiled. She said a few words, and seemed to be tracking linguistically with what Google told us was typical. At 8 months old, JJ had the biggest tantrum of any little baby I had ever seen. I actually called my mom and asked her to come over, as my husband and I were so overwhelmed and I was sure she must have accidentally broken a little toe or something! Nope. It was just a perfect storm of slightly longer time between meals, shorter nap, bath at a different time of day...
IF YOU'RE AT THIS POINT: Try to stick to a schedule whenever you can! Same time for feedings, bath time, stroller walks, etc.
Toddler: JJ continued to be physically advanced, and started walking at 11 months, and could climb anything like a tiny spider monkey. She also had a deep fascination with spinning and crashing. I'll never forget watching her run at full speed towards a huge teddy bear in my parents' living room. Her grandpa would push/launch her onto the bear and she would giggle and bounce right back up to do it again! The turning point, the moment we knew something was truly different, came around 19 months old. JJ had begun speaking a few basic words but suddenly stopped altogether. This regression in speech, combined with the other subtle signs we'd noticed, finally prompted us to seek professional help.
IF YOU'RE AT THIS POINT: Start with your pediatrician. Tell them what you're observing and ask them what next steps would be. Try not to overthink (I know, it's kind of impossible). Every kiddo is different, but your parental intuition is valid. Know that you've got so many different support systems you can lean on, no matter what happens.
After talking with our pediatrician, we set out on a pretty rocky path that ultimately got us our autism diagnosis and a deeper understanding of our daughter. I'm hoping the lessons we learned can help others. Click here to read about 5 things we wish someone had told us about getting an early autism diagnosis.
The journey with autism is different for every family. Sharing my experience, even highlighting the "mixed signals" we encountered, is my attempt to help other parents who might be facing similar uncertainties.
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